I wrote this post months ago but was still not able to share it until now.... I feel like it's about time to get back into it, and share my truth again. I stopped because I couldn't handle sharing the messiness of my life, I was afraid and that's OK! I was being way too self-critical was stopping me from moving forward.... so today, here' goes!
Wow what a morning I've had!
Wow what a morning I've had!
I sit here in awe of the magic of my life and the awesomeness of the universe. So grateful to be in this body, in this life, in this world at this time in our history. I am just fired up and so ready to get going!
Yesterday I wasn't feeling this way, I was tired and sad and feeling stuck....again :P
Yesterday for me was a big day of receiving Life coaching and Energy work from two of my mentors and dear friends. Melissa Simonson and Tracy Reifferscheid. So much was coming up but it was very hard for me to separate it all, I was in this place where all of the negative self-talk and fears and doubts were piling up into one big impossible-to-tackle ball and I was left feeling overwhelmed and like giving up.
This morning I couldn't sleep past 5am.... too much chatter in my head, my dreams kept me feeling like I was in the world of The Walking Dead always something to be afraid of, something that could jump out and attack me at any moment sure to consume me.(Yuck!)
So how did I get from there to here? I'll tell you!
It's the Three Step Process
I learned it when I attended Inner Mean Girl Reform School, created by Amy Ahlers and Christine Arylo Click on the link to find out more! It's all about how to take your power back from that Inner Critical voice who takes up too much space in your head leaving you feeling horrible.
This is not an easy thing to do but it is SO POWERFUL and worth it and I encourage you all to try it on your own. I tend to forget to do this process in my life and when I leave it too long things tend to pile up and I feel overwhelmed and like it's all too much to handle....and I notice it's because I have this Big Fat Lie running in my head:
That if I admit to the critical things I say to myself it will solidify that I'm bad or wrong.
The TRUTH is that I am saying this stuff to myself constantly without being fully aware or conscious of it, and denying it is what adds to the problem... what you Resist Persists. These unconscious thoughts that are being ignored and denied then build and build until that's all there is room for in my mind so they take over and take all of my power away from choosing another perception.
Choosing to make time to become aware of and listen to my Inner Critic is actually the thing that gives me power back.Allowing all of my fears and worries and self-criticism to be expressed, is like turning on the pressure release valve, loosening the grip and pressure of these negative thoughts creating room for another perspective, the point of view of my Inner Wisdom.
Each step of the 3 step process is important because, it's the writing out and acknowledging the Inner Critic that creates room for our Inner Wisdom to step in. If you skip the Inner Critic part you're Inner Wisdom has no room in your head.
This is a powerful process that leaves you feeling empowered and not defined by the words of the Inner Critic in your head.
The 3 Step Process:
Step 1 Notice where you are being really hard on yourself and Listening to the Inner Critic, giving her(it) the floor and keep going until everything has been said(the Inner Critic likes to speak in absolutes, using words like you ALWAYS and you NEVER the Inner Critic feeds you fear and lies believing it's protecting you from pain and rejection from past hurts that are no longer present in your life, it is an automatic program that reacts in situations that feel similar to past events that felt threatening in your life)
Step 2 Take a few deep breaths, Tuning into your Inner Wisdom(that unconditionally loving compassionate voice inside) discover what your TRUTH really is, let your inner wisdom have her say.
Step 3 Read out loud the Inner Wisdom to yourself and use a physical gesture to make the words stick on a physical level (I use my hand on my heart)
Step 2 Take a few deep breaths, Tuning into your Inner Wisdom(that unconditionally loving compassionate voice inside) discover what your TRUTH really is, let your inner wisdom have her say.
Step 3 Read out loud the Inner Wisdom to yourself and use a physical gesture to make the words stick on a physical level (I use my hand on my heart)
This is what I found this morning in my Three Step Process, **warning my Inner Critic swears like a sailor and is really mean!**
Step 1 - Notice: Where am I being really hard on myself right now?
In my relationships
And Tune into to that Inner Critical Voice: What does your Inner Critic have to say about how you are showing up in your relationships?
You're fucking up big time, You're always so reactive and never present. you're missing out on huge opportunities to connect and grow. You should just hide yourself and protect everyone from your crazy shit! You're going to screw up and say it wrong, do it wrong, look at how you're already doing that!
You made this person feel stupid, judged and criticised, You made that person feel less than, judged and stupid, you made another person feel little, wrong and incapable.
You do more damage than you do good. You are condescending rude and you can't control yourself. You either walk all over them or you let them walk all over you. It's crazy that you can't find a balance, what the hell is wrong with you?
You keep pushing people away, you should be ashamed, what the hell kind of a "Life Coach" is so screwed up? You should really just give up, you'll never get it.You're going to hurt people.
(NOTE: When you think it's done I encourage you to write "And another thing" and keep it going, using this opens up more possible ways to express where you are being hard on yourself)
And another thing, everyone is better at this than you are, you should be embarrassed for even trying.
You keep looking outside of yourself for validation! I would too if I were you just look at all the mean shit you say to yourself! No wonder you treat other people like shit!
You suck at self-love and that's your "passion"?!? What the hell are you doing!?? Stop! and go hide in a hole somewhere!
You made this person feel stupid, judged and criticised, You made that person feel less than, judged and stupid, you made another person feel little, wrong and incapable.
You do more damage than you do good. You are condescending rude and you can't control yourself. You either walk all over them or you let them walk all over you. It's crazy that you can't find a balance, what the hell is wrong with you?
You keep pushing people away, you should be ashamed, what the hell kind of a "Life Coach" is so screwed up? You should really just give up, you'll never get it.You're going to hurt people.
(NOTE: When you think it's done I encourage you to write "And another thing" and keep it going, using this opens up more possible ways to express where you are being hard on yourself)
And another thing, everyone is better at this than you are, you should be embarrassed for even trying.
You keep looking outside of yourself for validation! I would too if I were you just look at all the mean shit you say to yourself! No wonder you treat other people like shit!
You suck at self-love and that's your "passion"?!? What the hell are you doing!?? Stop! and go hide in a hole somewhere!
Step 2 - What does my inner wisdom have to say about all of this??(Taking a deep breath or two and calming my self I tune into that voice of compassion and unconditional love and ask her what she has to say about all that my Inner Critic's threw at me.)
I am being much too hard on myself right now and it is hard to see all of the love and light that surround me right now in this moment. The Truth is; I am precious, sweet, gentle and loving.
There is so much love and support around me in the energetic world and also in my relationships in the physical world. My hard work, courage and discipline is paying off, I've committed to personal growth, openness, curiosity, love and compassion. In my true essence I am whole and healed. I am meant to go through these challenges to grow from and share my experience of all of the facets of self-love. Self-Love is not a destination; It is a process and a practice, a commitment to be present and to become aware of the choices I make that are no longer serving me. Without making room for setbacks and mistakes there is no growth or forward movement, only spinning wheels overwhelm and feeling stuck.
It takes great courage to be authentic and open and honest with myself. Looking deeply into why I feel the way I do. I am exactly where I need to be and in a great moment of personal growth, I am so proud of me. Expecting perfection is not serving me, personal growth and self-love are messy and chaotic, it can sometimes feel like everything is falling apart, but I know that this is a good thing because this "falling apart" is actually a "falling away" of old patterns that are no longer needed. I am NOT defined by my mistakes, I will be affected only by how I embrace or deny them.
I allow this process to be messy and bumpy, and I move with the ebb and flow of letting go the pieces of my psyche that are ready to fall away. The more I embrace the messiness the more I can see the beautiful symphony of chaos and order, perfect imperfections and messy organisation. I then become aware that I am not the organizing force; My role is to embrace, trust, and allow this flow to wash away and move me through it, to come out on the other side more fully myself, lit up and standing in my power.
I am a powerful force of healing and nurturing. I offer these gifts first to myself, allow myself to feel whole and healed and perfectly imperfect with nothing that needs to be changed or tweaked, allowing my flaws to be embraced and not judged. I then show up as a powerful force of healing and nurturing for others.
With deep understanding and in awe of my radiance... I love me!
There is so much love and support around me in the energetic world and also in my relationships in the physical world. My hard work, courage and discipline is paying off, I've committed to personal growth, openness, curiosity, love and compassion. In my true essence I am whole and healed. I am meant to go through these challenges to grow from and share my experience of all of the facets of self-love. Self-Love is not a destination; It is a process and a practice, a commitment to be present and to become aware of the choices I make that are no longer serving me. Without making room for setbacks and mistakes there is no growth or forward movement, only spinning wheels overwhelm and feeling stuck.
It takes great courage to be authentic and open and honest with myself. Looking deeply into why I feel the way I do. I am exactly where I need to be and in a great moment of personal growth, I am so proud of me. Expecting perfection is not serving me, personal growth and self-love are messy and chaotic, it can sometimes feel like everything is falling apart, but I know that this is a good thing because this "falling apart" is actually a "falling away" of old patterns that are no longer needed. I am NOT defined by my mistakes, I will be affected only by how I embrace or deny them.
I allow this process to be messy and bumpy, and I move with the ebb and flow of letting go the pieces of my psyche that are ready to fall away. The more I embrace the messiness the more I can see the beautiful symphony of chaos and order, perfect imperfections and messy organisation. I then become aware that I am not the organizing force; My role is to embrace, trust, and allow this flow to wash away and move me through it, to come out on the other side more fully myself, lit up and standing in my power.
I am a powerful force of healing and nurturing. I offer these gifts first to myself, allow myself to feel whole and healed and perfectly imperfect with nothing that needs to be changed or tweaked, allowing my flaws to be embraced and not judged. I then show up as a powerful force of healing and nurturing for others.
With deep understanding and in awe of my radiance... I love me!
Step 3 - With my hand on my heart I reread out loud the awesomeness my Inner Wisdom shared ....I am now feeling much more open and receptive to the love of my spiritual team and the people in my life.
So here I am embracing the mess, moving with the flow and allowing it to wash away the stuck and spinning wheels... YAY!
Both my Inner critic and Inner Wisdom are aspects of me so they both like to talk a lot and use a lot of words! Just like me! Your process might look very simple and short and that's ok, what's important is this process is that in each area you are being really honest and speaking what feels true to you!
Now go give it a try! and please tell me how it goes! Leave a comment below or email me or message me on Facebook I would love to be witness of your awesomeness in your journey!
Thanks to everyone who I can feel in my corner, who support me and love me flaws and all!
I feel blessed to be able to share this with you!
I love you!
I feel blessed to be able to share this with you!
I love you!
Alanna
Reiki Practitioner, Speaker, Life Coach
www.shiftingperceptions.ca
